Cycles and Endings

Did Roger run away from Livejournal? 

I found out today that a client of mine with TS did not get their order. When I asked TS what was going on, they said, "Oh, our system has been having malfunctions and you should check with all clients for the last 2 months if they received their orders."

WTF? So now I have people thinking that I am just taking their checks, cashing them, and not sending product. I am so. fucking. angry.

Anna (and anyone who has ordered from me) can you tell me if you got your stuff? And if anyone has complained of not receiving their stuff? 

I've been hiding from the world. And eventually, I will post. And I will explain what is going on in my life, and ask for feedback. And there may be angry people. I am sort of irritated with myself, in all honesty. I am frustrated, and lost. But day one of my cycle (GO TOO MUCH INFO) is not the time to be posting angsty posts.

"I love you Eddie."

I need help. Please, someone help. I know that I should post more often than when I am freaking out, but I'm sorry, I am just so nonfunctional and I have so many things to do.

Please, please help.

I am so exhausted. I wish I could sleep for a few hours.

The sun is shining, my client's payment went through, I'm halfway through cleaning my house with the windows open, I have the night off tonight, I am going to Bill's to play Scion tonight (tabletop rpg), I am getting a happy phone call at some point tonight, Mike got to come home for lunch and tell me the funny story of having massage therapy/assault (lmao - just in his head) and it is one day less until Springfield. Some days the world just smiles at you and says, "today, everything will be good."

I am passing along the news.

Jackie is pregnant!!!

Trying. Not. To reach over and bash Matt's head in with my laptop.

Must be kind to Mike's dumbass family.

I forgot how freaking hard this is. *rearranges thought process and goes to bed*

No, not the site. That is finished, and was incredibly freaking easy.

I actually got to use the phrase, "I reject your reality and substitute my own," today. Hahahahaha. It was great.

I am working on CSS for the site tomorrow. Hate coding. Blargroar.

Dude, Alex is so freaking awesome. He crawled across his room today (which is a LONG way for him) while I was in the kitchen doing dishes - then I hear this "eh. EEEH!" And I turn around, his head is peeking out of his door looking at me, grinning from ear to ear like, "I FOUND YOU!"

Can anyone have a "Closed party" for me? Basically, I need to write down that I had a taste-testing party for you before 3/6 - and have at least 1 order. Which I can find someone to order something - all I need is your address information so that you can "host" a party for me.

Ok. Not warm today. That is NEXT sunday. But oh well. The science center is still warm.

Still no cigarettes in pockets and he still doesn't smell like cigarettes.  Very interesting.

So today, I was super upset - mostly out of exhaustion - and caved and asked Mike for a cigarette. He said "Oh. I'm out, I'm sorry." And I asked how long he had been out (feeling guilty for not being here to get him cigarettes when he was sick - no, I don't think smokers should have to do without their addiction when they are miserable and not trying to quit) and he said he couldn't remember.

Since then, Mike has gone to my parents' house to pick up the rest of our stuff...now, the first thing Mike usually does if he goes out is to go buy cigarettes. So I figured that since I was still pretty stressed tonight, I'd have one and just get the craving out of me...but there are no cigarettes in Mike's coat pockets. And then I realized - I still have his lighter from about noon today.

I think he is trying to quit without telling me. It's just one of those things I think he wanted to do without me asking him to - it makes it his thing. But anyway. Here is hoping.

They summed it up in the first episode...

Seriously. It's like a train wreck. You want to look away, but you can't.

I hate being caught up with TV shows. Do you know how many years it has been since I have watched a television programme and actually been up to speed with it? Hmm. 9. Nearly a decade. I am out of practice with it and I dislike being patient. This is precisely why I did not go to the theaters to watch Pirates 2 - it drives me up a wall to wait for Heroes every week. Can you imagine what I would be like waiting for a film for an entire year? Oh hell no.

Teething snot sucks. Poor kid.

My arm hurts from being slobbered on. Which is weird I guess, except it is starting to get raw from it. 4 of Alex's teeth are coming in right now, and he is angry/sad about it. But tomorrow he is starting on "first foods" and by first foods I mean mommy-blended foods. Oh yeah.

There is not much else to say right now. Last chance...Jon, I love you hon, but I can't drive an 8 hour round trip solely to see you, nor do I think you could stand being cooped up with me for an entire weekend. So - Sarah, Sabrina and Tim - Do you want me to visit? If so, say something. If not....that's fine, but please have the courtesy to say that too.